The Will to Change - Read and bitch with us!

Over the years, the term “feminism” has ebbed in and out of popularity. I remember an interview with Lady Gaga about a decadeish ago, where when asked if she was a feminist, she replied, “no, I’m a humanist.” I think that sentiment comes from a misunderstanding of what feminism represents. Feminism is the response to the patriarchy, therefore, feminism is anti-patriarchy, not anti-men. So, I’m excited to dive into bell hook’s The Will to Change, where she talks about just that: the patriarchy’s negative impact on men, and what we can do about it.

I very much encourage any men or masc peoples to show up to this meeting, because I would love to hear your feedback on this book.

“Feminist writing did not tell us about the deep inner misery of men.

Everyone needs to love and be loved—including men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways in which patriarchal culture keeps them from understanding themselves. In The Will to Change, bell hooks provides a compassionate guide for men of all ages and identities to understand how to be in touch with their feelings, and how to express versus repress the emotions that are a fundamental part of who we are.

With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways. The Will to Change “creates space for men to acknowledge their traumas and heal—not only for their sake, but for the sake of everyone in their lives”
— Buzzfeed

“It’s not true that men are unwilling to change. It’s true that many men are afraid to change. It’s true that masses of men haven’t even begun to look at the ways that patriarchy keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. To know love, men must be able to let go of the will to dominate. They must be able to choose life over death. They must be willing to change.”

“The truth we do not tell is that men are longing for love.”

“Many women cannot hear male pain about love because it sounds like an indictment of female failure. Since sexist norms have taught us that loving is our task whether in our role as mothers or lovers or friends, if men say they aren’t loved, then we’re at fault; we are to blame.”
— bell hooks

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