What we’re about
"I chose the road less travelled… Now I don’t know where I am."
"Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost, and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that." - Ellen Degeneres
"Bring a compass. It's awkward when you have to eat your friends." - Unknown
So maybe we caught your interest?
Quick note then I’ll tell you what we’re about. We’ve never gotten lost or had to look at members as a food source. This is Chattanooga Outdoor Adventures not the Donner Party (some of you will get that).
We enjoys the outdoors in all forms. Events like Hiking, Rafting, Kayaking, and everything else.
But wait there’s more! I sound like a Ginsu knife commercial. Let’s not let any of the Donners have one of those.
We also plan other great activities in and around Chattanooga. Not just hiking. Musical events, food and wine festivals. A concert in a cave, you get the idea
It’s an open group and would love to get everyone involved and plan a lot of different things. Inclusion and fun are key.
Not just hiking, Adventures of all kinds
So I am paraphrasing the Original Gladiator Movie in my Meme I made. Thought it turned out pretty good (quietly pats self on the back)
We did this as a group at Christmas last year. I share my daughter with her in-laws and we alternate Holidays. This year they have Thanksgiving and I have Christmas. So my other daughter and I are by ourselves this Thanksgiving, but we don't have to be. You guys can come with us.
Where? To a gourmet place called Waffle House. The Roman Colosseum of the South in Modern times. Then we see the movie Gladiator 2.
How is it like a Colosseum you ask?
The Roman Colosseum was built to provide entertainment for the Roman people, and was used for a variety of events, including Gladiatorial combat, Animal hunts Public executions, and Mock naval battles.
So here is how I can put it all together. These are actual Waffle House events. Are you not entertained?
A customer stripped naked before breaking another customers nose. She threw platters of food too and broke a window. Kind of Gladiator?
A customer once held a waitress at knife point because they didn't have pie. I mean I like Pie, but that? Swords definitely gladiator.
A person Robbing a Waffle House was shot by a customer. Well of course. I mean they should give you a weapon when you go in late at night if you don't have one. Public Execution of a criminal check.
A man rammed a Waffle House with his car to run over his wife. While I may understand relationships are tough don't do this. I mean it's a brick wall after all and eventually she would've had to step out on to the sidewalk.
A woman attempted to wear a Cheeseburger as a sandal after drunken sex in the parking lot and the cops showed up. I am just hoping that she found the right undergarments getting dressed. By the way has anyone seen my pancake?
And a man Celebrates a Not guilty verdict at Waffle House. Well of course! The man was accused of killing his wife's lover. When he was found not guilty, he and his wife celebrated at Waffle House. His wife said, "Because my husband puts me first, he's taking me to the Waffle House."
Yes Ma'am he is a keeper!
SNL did a Hilarious sketch on Waffle House
SNL You Tube Waffle House sketch
To quote the first Gladiator "Are you not Entertained?"
Are you not Entertained scene
So here is the Concept.
We eat at Waffle House in Hixson. We will do our best to sit close to each other and improvise on the spot. Waffle House is too classy for reservations.
Waffle House # 1188 Hixson, TN
With all the Syrup and stuff your gladiator name can be Maximus Diabeetus.
I can not guarantee any Gladiator type fighting, but for something entertaining to happen? This is Waffle House where the odds are good and the goods are odd.
Then
AMC Northgate 14 Gladiator Movie 3:30 11/28/24
There is no assigned seating so we just grab the popcorn and drinks and try to sit together.
Spend a Thanksgiving with my Daughter and I if you don't have anywhere to go. Its Waffle House so you know it's an Adventure.
It isn't always the perfect family Thanksgiving with everyone together, but what it can be is some pretty great people who I am thankful to have around.
You guys!
Awww did we just have a moment?
From one of my favorite authors
“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.”
– Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea
In Other words don't look at what you wanted. Look around you for what is and be thankful. Do something great with the life that is in front of you.
Make the best of the day. It may not be exactly as you pictured your life, but you can make it a pretty great day. Be thankful for the opportunity to do just that. Join me and my daughter for Thanksgiving at Waffle House.
Side note I think I am taking my whole crew to Texas de Brazil In Huntsville the following day so I will wear my stretchy pants there, but not to Waffle House. A quick search turned up the the T-bone steak and eggs there is only 1430 calories. Thats not a lot right?
Upcoming events (4+)
See all- Rubiks Groove @ Barrelhouse BallroomBarrel House Ballroom, Chattanooga , TN
I usually don't plan this far out in my life, but I have wanted to see these guys. They are a lot of fun. So I am going to do it.
Fun Fact-I actually knew the Pee Wee Herman dressed dude in the band. I lived in a small town in Georgia and watched the little Whipper Snapper grow up. We had a pick up Volleyball game every Wednesday and he would show up and play with the old guys. Wait! that was me.
Lost track of him when he moved to Nashville about twenty years ago... Wow I am getting old.
Anywho...
Probably doesn't remember me anyways, but I want to try a rare thing for me. A Friday event and it starts later. I usually don't do Fridays because after work and time zones the earliest I can get there is around eight. Plus this starts later and may be past some of our members bed times. Still I have always wanted to see these guys. It just looks fun.
Who wouldn't dance to this groups play list? The eighties, Nineties and the oughts. The music is great!
This is a fun 80's, 90's and 00's cover band. This is a dance your tail off type of event to music when we were young. Well, you're still young, but this fossil wants to do this. The 80's of course was the best decade. Big hair, Neon clothes and the music.
Here is a link to some songs in their repertoire. Trust me (just this once. Really trust me. I mean don't make a habit of it, but just this one time. ) there are some good songs here.
Rubiks Groove Songlist Scroll down to see itTheir very own website
Rubiks Grooveand the link to buy tickets
Barrelhouse Ballroom Ticket LinkSupport your Geriatric leaders quest for fun.
I will leave you with an old dude saying
"I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I am also deaf in one ear."
I have more, but I will keep this short. Got a bunch on my mind and wanted to get this posted, but I am not real wordy right now.... Stuff going on in my noggin.
- Hiking and Tacos-Laurel Falls and MexicanWalmart Supercenter, Chattanooga, TN
Please note the Trail rating is Moderate and 4.7 miles long. If you are an Experienced hiker you will for you will find the trail moderately difficult. If you are not? It will be hard. Knowing your skills and abilities to do this hike are your responsibility.
Okay now that is out of the way.
I didn't think I would ever have to lead with that, but I was wrong.
So I asked for submissions on our Facebook page for a hike for Today. Laurel Falls was suggested and I looked. It was almost exactly a year ago we hiked it. I thought Karma! now I know we all know what she can be sometimes.... (Did you get that?), but this time it's a good thing. To make sure it is a good thing I am adding Tacos. Tacos are always good.
Still waiting on Karma to catch up on a few she missed though.
I in another life used to live in Austin, Texas. There is a Tex Mex Restaurant there called El Arroyo which means the stream. I have taken to googling Restaurants names. It's better that way. I mean you wouldn't want to eat at El Bano. Anyways, El Arroyo is famous for their signs they change daily. These guys are amazing. Let me share some of their kernels of wisdom.
(During the Pandemic) "A Big nose isn't an excuse for no mask. I mean, I still wear underwear."
"Sorry I am late. I got here as soon as I wanted to."
"I don't have Exes, I have Why's"
"I'm not passive aggressive unlike *some* people"
"You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers"
"Step aside coffee. This is a job for Alcohol"
"Remember if you can't say something nice, make it funny"
"It's not a walk of shame. It's a stride of pride"
"Eat More! Don't worry, I got you-Sweatpants"
And finally
"I Just stole Santa's naughty list! It is weirdly close to my friends list!"I am of course speaking of all of you on that last one.
What does this have to do with the event?
Nothing!
Did I make you scroll long enough to get to the meat of things. Or Vegetable of things for my vegetarian friends.
I love doing that.
Are you not entertained? (Bonus points if you name the movie)
We meet at Wal-mart on Signal Mountain road to divide up in Carpools. I will be towards the street.
Then we drive to Laure Falls to Hike The Laurel Falls Trail.
All Trails Laurel Falls write up
Then we go get Tacos
at Hernandez Authentic Mexican Food
It clearly says Authentic in the title so don't worry. It's the real deal.
Would I lie to you?
Okay, more accurately would I lie to you about this?
Just part of my three days in Chattanooga weekend. You can entertain me. Thank you.
Personal favorite from the list is the sentence enhancers one.
Are you still reading?
It's over I told you everything.
I now have a craving for Cheese Dip.
- Pizza and Cigars-A No Reservations EventSouthside Pizza, Chattanooga, TN
A No Reservations Event so the Anthony Bourdain inspired writing
"I'm a big believer in winging it. I'm a big believer that you're never going to find perfect city travel experience or the perfect meal without a constant willingness to experience a bad one. Letting the happy accident happen is what a lot of vacation itineraries miss, I think, and I'm always trying to push people to allow those things to happen rather than stick to some rigid itinerary."-Anthony Bourdain
Through out my life I have been reminded of this. In the first grade going to private school in Chicago I had met the love of my life, Leah Collister. Life was set for me. I would become a titan of industry living on Millionaires row in Chicago, Summer home on Macinac Island, 2.5 kids and a dog. A year or so and a big promotion later my fathers career took us to New York.
Not even close to the plan.
There is an old Yiddish Proverb “We plan, God Laughs” I like that. Life will never entirely turns out like you have planned. You adapt to what is around you. Though it never goes according to plans it can be a hell of a ride. Rather than a Moribund existence of the same things over and over in life. Make it an adventure. I have. Occasional bumps and bruises along the way, but always smiling.
Continuously I have made plans and thought this is where I see my myself. Then life happens.
I am still happy though.
I have learned to live life without the Itinerary. My plan? I don't have one. I've done it and it's worked out fine. I don't have a set criteria of the things I want or need. To paraphrase the quote you're never going to have the perfect partner, the perfect situation, or everything exactly how you want it. Life simply doesn't work that way and it doesn't last so if you can't roll with the twists and turns of life you will have problems.
If you aren't willing to roll with the randomness of life you could miss a lot of happiness in the moments right in front of you.
Plus I am pretty sure I have been long forgotten by that first grade crush I had. Or more likely she's telling her six pack abdomen, highly successful, wealthy husband who she meticulously planned to meet and live a life with, "There was the strangest boy in school. I would walk up and talk to him and he would stare blankly back. I am pretty sure he was (does the air quotes) special."
I seriously hope she is happy though and has had a lots of happy accidents along the way.
I did get better at talking to a pretty woman. Not much better, but better.
I have an event Friday and I am attending one Sunday. So? So when I planned Friday's event Amber hadn't planned Sunday's and unexpectedly I will be in Chattanooga the entire weekend. You wing it and hopefully some cool stuff happens.
The Airbnb is booked for the weekend, but I got nothing Saturday. I am gong to wing it and plan some stuff. Probably a hike earlier too. These places are within walking distance from where I am staying.
First stop? Southside Pizza. A lot of good things have happened over a beer and pizza.
Here they are
Southside PizzaThen?
"Happiness? A good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle." -George Burns
I'm happy with the Meal and the cigar.
Since we are on happiness. After we will walk down to
The Cigar Man ChattanoogaSmoke cigars and what not. Then I can walk back to my room and wait for Sandra Bullock's call. What? It could happen! I mean obviously its a wrong number thing, but still...
- State of Confusion Brunch and Montague Sculpture Garden WalkState of Confusion, Chattanooga, TN
To be clear I am not cooking you guys breakfast. The Guys at State of Confusion are.
We did this last year and had fun. I am staying at a very nearby Airbnb with Jim and Tammy. The place is actually a cool addition to their Garage so they might find it awkward to wake up and finding me cooking an omelet for them in their kitchen.
I mean Bourdain also said “I have long believed that it is only right and appropriate that before one sleeps with someone, one should be able—if called upon to do so—to make them a proper omelet in the morning. Surely that kind of civility and selflessness would be both good manners and good for the world."
I mean I want to keep our relationship on a certain level. So the cook at State of Confusion is cooking your omelet. I think I have been clear.
Bourdain also said “The way you make an omelet reveals your character.”
Boy he sure placed a lot of emphasis on omelets. Breakfast at a Denny’s isn’t so complicated, but if you’re at a Denny’s the morning after neither was your date. I looked there are a few basic omelets. I guess they would all send a different message to your overnight guest.
The French omelet is just fluffy scrambled eggs folded over on to themselves. That's it. Nothing more. This says eat fast I've already got you an Uber and it's on the way.
A Spanish omelet is a fancy looking one with potatoes. Usually served at night. This says eat hearty you're going to need some sustenance. Long night ahead.
The Frittata! Still an omelet technically, but fancy and says let's take this to the next level. Are you ready for that?
The Western or Denver omelet? This says you might have trouble calling that Uber because we are in the country and coverage is spotty. Merica! Walk out to the end of the driveway. You can usually get a signal out there.
I guess he's right. The omelet says a lot.
So we eat at
State of ConfusionYou don't have to get an omelet. I am leaning towards the Fried Chicken funnel cake. Not sure what that says about me? Let's make that rhetorical.
Specials on Mimosas and Bloody Marys and good food.
Then The Sculpture Fields at Montague Park. Just a nice walk in the park. I mean that literally not metaphorically. The saying itself is a metaphor.
I wonder if Bourdain meant the Omelet metaphorically. I mean he is awfully focused on it. That would change a lot of things. Nope! He is a cook. To paraphrase that Freud quote sometimes an omelet is just an omelet.
