What we’re about
This group was founded by and for Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) in the Greater Toronto Area, to allow people with this trait and temperament to connect with others like them, and maybe even learn more about themselves.
New: Harassment/ Pestering/ Cold DMs policy:
This is new and I am putting this at the top of the group description for now, as its inclusion was requested by a member of the group.
This group has zero tolerance for pestering, harassment, or cold-solicitation of members. This means, for example, sending a DM to someone you do not know. If you are engaging in this activity, you will be removed from the group. Please, if you are receiving DMs from individuals you do not know, send screenshots of such messages to the Organizer right away, and such persons will be banned from the group immediately.
As well, it has been noted to the organizer that at times some individuals seem to join meetups with the only purpose of trying to 'pick up' individuals or to solicit dating. This can be felt as harassing or annoying to others, and really can ruin other members' experience. Nobody deserves to be targeted or bothered just since they exist. Being an arena for harassing or solicitation is not the intention of the group.
If a person in the group is making you uncomfortable, please share this with the group organizer right away (or as soon as you are able), and the organizer will speak with the person in question, and they be removed from the group if their actions are inappropriate.
(Please also note that this group is intended for people who are HSP. There are hundreds of other meetups in town for non-HSP events. Please only attend our meetups if you believe you are HSP yourself, and are interested in meeting other people with the same trait. Thanks for your understanding!)
A great starting point for learning about HSP is the following document curated by our co-organizer Catherine:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NM_lvU_Dk_U6-UW5Ql_6dKqc5chITsVU5bE8OgseHes/edit?usp=sharing
Additional information is also provided below.
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Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) constitute about 15-20% of the population. People born with this trait may have a greater sensitivity to their surroundings, often greater empathy (generally involuntary), a tendency to pick up on myriad subtleties in their environments, as well as to be overwhelmed more easily, due precisely to their perception involuntarily picking up on so much.
It's important to keep in mind that HSP is a genetically-based trait (that is to say, you are born with it). And also that the term "sensitive" may not frankly be entirely ideal-- as this can have a negative connotation, or can just mean someone who is "overly sensitive" and gets offended easily all the time. That's certainly not what we mean to suggest by "sensitive" (and probably not a good quality to cultivate or promote either!). "Sensitivity" in this context refers more to a sensory trait and capacity, which has both 'positive' and 'negative' valences. I may expand on this more but for now I'll mostly paste some information from my previous groups and from Dr. Aron and others.
Just a few signs of HSP: (from Elaine Aron's site):
Are you…. easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into some place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?
(From Dr. Aron’s website:) (Take the test here: http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-t… )
If you find you are highly sensitive, I’d like you to know the following:
Your trait is normal. It is found in 15 to 20% of the population–too many to be a disorder, but not enough to be well understood by the majority of those around you.
It is innate. In fact, biologists have found it in over 100 species (and probably there are many more) from fruit flies, birds, and fish to dogs, cats, horses, and primates. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting. The brains of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) actually work a little differently than others’. To learn more about this, see research.
You are more aware than others of subtleties. This is mainly because your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. So even if you wear glasses, for example, you see more than others by noticing more.
You are also more easily overwhelmed. If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time.
This trait is not a new discovery, but it has been misunderstood. Because HSPs prefer to look before entering new situations, they are often called “shy.” But shyness is learned, not innate. In fact, 30% of HSPs are extroverts, although the trait is often mislabeled as introversion. It has also been called inhibitedness, fearfulness, or neuroticism. Some HSPs behave in these ways, but it is not innate to do so and not the basic trait.
Sensitivity is valued differently in different cultures. In cultures where it is not valued, HSPs tend to have low self-esteem. They are told “don’t be so sensitive” so that they feel abnormal.
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For more information on HSP, feel free to check out these links as a start:
The HSP Self-test:
http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/
Catherine's Resources for HSP's:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NM_lvU_Dk_U6-UW5Ql_6dKqc5chITsVU5bE8OgseHes/edit?usp=sharing
(find links to a number of useful websites at the bottom of that document!)
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Sister HSP meetup groups in other cities (send a message if you want your group added to this list!):
**Highly Sensitive Asians in Markham**
Community and events to connect about experiences as sensitive people in immigrant, Asian communities.
https://www.instagram.com/highlysensitiveasians/
Highly Sensitive Persons of Metro Vancouver
https://4142298.xyz/highly-sensitive-persons-of-metro-vancouver/
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As some astute members recommended, I am adding a "liability waiver" here as other meetup groups have done. All this said, please do be careful on walks and take care of your own safety- look both ways before crossing the street, and avoid being reckless. It is not worth the cost if your or someone gets hurt. In any case, please do refer to the waiver below, please and thank you.
Liability Waiver: By joining Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) of Toronto and RSVPing for or attending any event, you acknowledge and accept the following Liability Waiver: I do hereby absolve, release and waive any and all civil or criminal liability litigation claims or demands against Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) of Toronto (including its Organizer, Assistant Organizers, and/or event hosts), which may arise out of or be related to any injury, damage or monetary loss to me, my guest(s), or any member(s) of my family by reason of involvement in any group or group-related activities. By joining HSPs of Toronto, I accept this waiver, and hereby acknowledge that I am solely responsible for my own safety during, before, and after any event or group-related activity and that, if intoxicated, I will not operate a motorized vehicle after leaving any HSPs of Toronto Meetup- event.
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Thanks and we look forward to seeing you at HSP events!
