Name: Finding Peace In A Hostile World
Start: 2024-12-04T17:00:00-08:00
End: 2024-12-04T18:30:00-08:00

Years ago, I was caught in a terrible upset with someone who is very important to me. I couldn't believe how they treated me. I couldn't believe how wrong they were, and my anger simmered for months and even years.
Because of their importance in my life, I wrestled with this over and over until I finally learned that they weren't actively trying to hurt me. Rather, they were coming from their own story of what got triggered in them. They were equally hurt by my behavior, equally self-righteous, and had I not gained this awareness, we probably wouldn't be speaking to this day.
What I learned from this experience was the power of taking responsibility for my actions and the challenge of embracing other points of view. Generally, when people are unable to take responsibility for their own actions, they blame the other person for their behavior.
We perpetuate this cycle in the “right-wrong paradigm.” One person (the other person) is wrong, and we are right. We argue from this perspective, demanding that our view be recognized.
What’s missing is an examination of our own reactions to their behavior. That is, the “others” are simply being themselves, shaped by their own perspectives. Because we don’t like how they think or what they say, we make them wrong instead of recognizing that something in us is being triggered—and that it is ours to work with. They are simply expressing themselves, and we are reacting.
The way to move forward is to realize that the paradigm of right and wrong only leads to stalemates. This holds true not just in personal relationships but also in the political sphere.
It’s possible to learn to understand each other. Instead of becoming adversaries, we can express and discuss opposing opinions freely. We can learn from one another—but this requires internal work to let go of our attachment to “being right.”
I experienced this during the last election. Both sides were “othering” each other—the right wing “othering” immigrants, trans people, people of color, etc., and the left wing “othering” people who voted for Trump.
This endless loop will continue unless we choose to do something different.
This was my intention when I canvassed in Pennsylvania. Rather than being judgmental, I approached people with curiosity. I sincerely wanted to understand the person I was speaking with—someone whose perspective and life experience differed greatly from mine. I cultivated presence, sharing a moment of respectful dialogue, regardless of our points of view or the outcome of the conversation.
With very few exceptions, each conversation was a meaningful exchange between two people who wanted the best for their lives, even as we disagreed on how to achieve that.
(A caveat here: I only engaged with those who were open-minded and willing to exchange ideas in the spirit of mutual education. I did not pursue conversations with those locked into their beliefs.)
Now back to us. We have the opportunity to use this election as a catalyst for our own growth. I experienced great power when I bypassed the right/wrong paradigm and instead focused on connection.
(Let’s face it—has arguing with others who are rooted in their point of view ever truly created harmony?)
To do this, I had to let go of my attachments. I had to let go of wanting to convince others to think like me and release my anger when they clung to their perspectives. I needed to respect others’ ability to hold their own views, even if I didn’t agree with or respect those perspectives.
It is a profound spiritual challenge—to let go of attachment and be present in the moment. No judgment. No agenda. Letting go of “being right” and simply being. Combating our own fears, anxiety, and upset. Not easy.
But it’s an important lesson, one that can serve us in the turbulent years ahead—both personally and in the world at large.
By doing this, we can strengthen our own sense of self and become less vulnerable to negativity. We can create distance between ourselves and others’ opinions, allowing them to have their views without becoming attached to their perspective. In doing so, we can find freedom in dealing with others who don’t share our opinions.
And we can become catalysts for the deep, much-needed peace within ourselves and in the world.
Join us on Wednesday, December 4th from 5:00–6:30 PM PST.

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