What we’re about
Being 31 years old, growing up I only had access to Victoria Secret magazines. Family home internet came at 13 years old, private access to a laptop came at 17, and a personal smartphone came at 22. We continue to live in a very different world. Nowadays it is impossible to escape viewing some form of sexual exploitation or any degree of sexually explicit material. For both addicts and non-addicts, pornography has become an integral part of all of our everyday lives. Whether or not porn is a good influence, that's dependent on your personal perspective.
Compulsively watching excessive amounts of porn has negatively impacted my life. Just off the top of my head, porn has caused me to:
-Hyperfixate on physical attraction
-Exploit and objectify people's bodies
-Gradually escalate into harder forms of porn
-Isolate from real human connection
-Spend too much time indoors while looking at a screen
-Increase risky sexual behavior
-Give Google access to online search history
-Jeopardize romantic relationships
-Stunt spiritual and therapeutic practices and growth
-Struggle with Performance Anxiety, Death Grip Syndrome, and E.D.
-Transform sex with a romantic partner into a performative act
-Use porn as a form of Emotional Regulation to cope with past traumas
-Live life under fear that someone may find out
-Lose time that I could have spent doing something more meaningful
General society primarily paints a comprehensively negative image of pornography, but I believe porn in itself isn't bad. There are many benefits that have come from porn in society within communities, inter-personal relationships, and on an individual level. I full-heartedly support the porn industry, sex workers, sex therapy, sex/kink/body positivity, masturbation, sex education, online communities and forums, and all the ways that porn can help an individual grow in self-knowledge and help a romantic relationship grow from experimentation and joint interests through open communication around the topic.
My verbiage and phrasing of "compulsively watching an excessive amount of porn" is intentional. "Compulsive" is defined as an irresistible urge to do something. To compulsively watch porn is to be unable to easily quit or moderate watching porn. An "excessive amount of porn" is a subjective term. The amount of porn someone wants in their life is their choice and is dependent on their own personal perspective. Some people may want to moderate the amount of porn they view and some people may want to completely abstain from it, but ultimately this is a personal choice and I do not believe there is objectively a right or wrong answer.
The concept for this club is purposefully very simple. We meet together in-person outdoors around a bonfire for 1 hour on a bi-weekly basis and each of us goes around the circle to talk honestly about the NEGATIVE effects that porn has had on our past and present and how our process of moving forward is going. Depending on the number of people that show up, the 1 hour meeting will be divided equally across each individual person, and a timer will be used to ensure this. Each person will be given an opportunity to speak or not speak and depending on how many people do not speak, at the end, the remains of the hour will be open to whomever wishes to share more. We will avoid discussing the specific types of porn we watch or any sort of search terms or websites, this is so that we can avoid potential triggers for the members. The goals of these meetings are to provide us with accountability, constructive monitoring, support, and acceptance.
Complete privacy and confidentiality is critical, however any discussion of child pornography is prohibited and will be quickly reported to authorities. Everyone present at the meeting must be above the age of 18. All genders/sexualities are welcome, LGBTQ friendly. Friends and family of porn addicts are welcome to come as well, but will only be allowed to listen to show support. If you wish to join these meetings, please just private message me through meetup or email me directly at [email protected] to tell me a little bit about your journey and we can discuss the details of where the meeting will be located. This is to protect the anonymity and privacy of the members. The meetings are bi-weekly at 6:30pm on Wednesdays.
I have no formal training or licenses around addictions counselling or addiction support groups. This group is not therapy/life coaching and not affiliated with Sex and Porn Addicts Anonymous, or any other organization, website, online forum, program, political party, or church. This group is non-religious, however religion and spirituality can be discussed on a personal level if a member feels it is relevant specifically to their own individual journey. Politics are prohibited from being discussed during meetings. This event is free. Masks are optional.
I look forward to hearing from you!
